If you keep up with modern day America, you should probably know that the Presidential elections are taking place is 2016. We have one year left to decide who has stolen our vote and the candidates are coming out swinging.
Another key fact you should probably know is that Donald Trump is running for president. I’ll repeat that just in case I lost anyone due to trauma: Donald Trump is running.. for.. President. That’s right.
So, what? It’s not like anyone actually wants Trump to run our country. Who would ever choose him over Hilary Clinton or Bernie Sanders? GUESS AGAIN, FRIENDS. He is LEADING in several polls across the U.S. Just when I was starting to get really proud of America for making progress in society (Obama being president, Hilary Running…). Is it too soon to start looking for places in Canada?
I’ve decided to compile a list of some pretty bad things that would be BETTER than Donald Trump being elected for President in 2016. Here they are:
11. George Lopez Punchlines on Repeat ALL DAY
Lopez may be painful to listen to when it comes to comedy, but OH DOES HE HATE THE DONALD. We could live with a little “WATCHA”.
10. IKEA Going Out of Business
How WILL WE EVER survive without the fine Swedish craftsmanship? And what about all those hours spent trying to understand the instructions? If you’re a lover of all things IKEA, this will be hard for you, but much better than… need I say it?
9. Coffee Drought
Goodbye Starbucks and Dunkin’. The beans are all burnt up from the rage of America for Donald running for Prez. Let’s kick the Caffeine addiction if it means no Trump in office.
8. Polar Ice Caps Melting
It’s happening anyway, keep up the pollution, Gang!
7. No. New. iPhones.
HOLD THE PHONE, literally. Stopping at the iPhone 6 may seem like an okay way to end it. You never miss what you’ve never had.
6. Student Loan Rates Rise Above 20%
I mean, what’s like 10% more than what they already are? We will probably get there soon anyway, so let’s take it like champs to keep away GRAMPS (Trump).
5. Grandparents Following You on Social Media
Hopefully you’re up for talking about the sweater you knit and what cookies you’re making for the rest of your life.. cause Grandma’s got an eye on ya. Family loves you unconditionally, so we will survive a few mistakes online. AGAIN, BETTER THAN TRUMP BEING PRESIDENT.
4. Outlawing Dog Ownership
Cute, cuddly and GONE FOREVER. A world with no puppy companionship would be a sad world, but nothing compared to the sad America we would see with Trump running the game. Ruff Ruff.
3. Any Other Republican Candidate Winning
They all suck. (If you’re a Republican here’s your cue to leave). But if having one of them take office is the only way to save us from The Donald.. bring em’ on.
2. Chipotle Getting Rid of Guacamole
Closest thing to the end of the world. But, if it would mean no Trump, I think we could live without having to pay an extra $1.95 (maybe).
1. Having Jared Fogle Invite you to a Sleepover
This is probably the worst thing I could think of which is why it earned it’s spot as #1 on this list. (If you haven’t heard, the ex-Subway spokesman is guilty of Child Pornography and other gross molestation nasty shenanigans). Let’s just hope Fogle is rotting in prison by the time this presidential campaigning heats up.