What Not To Say To A Person With Mental Illness

Since World Mental Health Day just happened on Sunday and I have yet to pay tribute to it, I wanted to shine some light on some ignorant things that are often said to people suffering from mental illness. I think it’s incredibly important to speak up about the seriousness of mental health and end.. the…stigma. I’ve already shared my anxiety story in a previous post (so if you’re curious.. go read) because I wanted at least one person to read it and know that it’s okay to talk about. I also want you readers to know that if you’re ever feeling down or anxious or anything in between, I am 100% here for you to reach out to or message. Don’t ever think that there is nobody out there. I understand your feelings and I know what it’s like to feel alone.

If this post is just TOO DEEP for you then you don’t need to continue.

Here are some things to NOT say to a person with mental illness:


“You’re just doing it for attention”

This one really gets me. Right, I’m having a full-blown panic attack just so I can make people feel bad for me. There are probably 4,000 other ways to do things for attention (like post a scandalous tweet or tattoo a lovers name on your forehead) and depression, anxiety and all the other illnesses out there aren’t those things. If anyone ever says this to you, let them know that they’re a total a-hole. Instead of pointing fingers and accusing.. use the energy to help each other.

“You’re too old to be acting like this”

IMPORTANT: You don’t outgrow mental illnesses. This relays to the ignorance and stigma towards the mentally ill. Saying this to a person can make them feel even more small and helpless, which are two things they DON’T need. Sure, it may be “odd” to you seeing a 22+ year old on the ground in a panic (maybe some screams included), but pushing them down when they need to be lifted up is the worst thing you can do. Also, several people have specific things that trigger them.. don’t make fun of them for not being able to swallow a pill, ride an escalator, go into crowds, etc. It’s beyond their control.

“Everyone Freaks Out About Things..”

Yeah, some people get nervous for a job interview or a first date.. but that is not an ongoing mental illness. The average persons “freak out” is a 2 on our scale of 10. We know that nobody is completely worry free. Although you may be trying to calm us down and make us feel “just like everybody else”, it’s unfortunately not working.

“What Do You Want Me To Do?”

Just be there to hold our hand and help us come out of whatever if happening. Asking us what to do can push us deeper into a panic or depression, because we don’t even know what to do. Just keep telling us it will be okay. Knowing you are there for us is good enough most of the time.

“I Thought You Were Over This?”

There are good times and really bad times with mental illness. You can go years, months or weeks with nothing going wrong and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you are completely debilitated. So no, unfortunately the “over this” was only temporary. It can always creep back on you. It doesn’t mean it will ruin you forever, but there will be times worse than others. Be patient and accept us during this time.


Never stop fighting for our acceptance in society. It will get easier.

Don’t forget to laugh and smile and be beautifully you.

If you need help.. get help. There is nothing wrong with it. It’s like going to the doctor for the flu.

Thanks for reading and helping to end the stigma.

xoxo Emily

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BIG BOOB PROBLEMS

D-Cup and up, what’s up?

If you are a member of the heavy-chested gang, you have probably dealt with several irritating incidents that have made you want to saw them off with a butter knife (or is that just me?). This isn’t to say that I don’t love my body, because I do, and sometimes I feel very blessed to have the assets that I do.. but there are times that I just CAN’T STAND THEM.

If you’ve ever been puzzled why women would ever want gigantic boobs, then read on and relate to these issues only girls with big boobs have:


  • Finding a bikini top is so….hard…

There are tons of things that can go wrong while trying to find a bikini top. You grab an XL cause it’s the only size that can fit your boobs, but then its WAY too big for your waist. You finally find a size that fits you.. AND ITS HIDEOUS. There are not a lot of options for gals with big boobs in the swimwear world.

This year I found mine on ASOS. They have a whole section for “DD+ Swimwear” which is a total lifesaver.

  • Clothes Don’t Fit Over Your Boobs

Finding adorable clothes that you think you can fit in, then you go in the dressing room and want to cry.. yeah we’ve all been there. Just stick to oversized and stretchy materials and you should have a shot. But, you can completely scratch button-up shirts off your shopping list, cause those will never happen.

  • Having a Serious Love/Hate Relationship with Them

Some days you wake up and feel like a super-fab chick and are ready to go out and work your body, and other days you want to wear a huge, oversized sweater and a scarf and hope no one can see the monsters under your shirt. It happens.

And don’t pretend like you’ve never researched breast reduction surgery!

  • Working Out Can Be Rough

Just one sports bra is not enough, we need two of them! Low-cut, adorable fitness outfits are a no, we will be there in an oversized t-shirt hoping that while we’re on the elliptical, no is noticing the BOUNCE.

  • Bending Over in a Low-Cut Top

Self-Explanatory.. and annoying.

  • All Weight Gain Seems to go to Them

How does this new bra I just got barely fit anymore? Oh, right, I ate too much last night. For some reason, fat seems to find its way into your boobs even though we all know we don’t need it.

  • Body-Con Dress = Instant Porn Star

Deciding on a body-con dress can be awesome for a night out on the town for any normal woman.. but, when you are dealing with more in the chest area.. you can instantly turn in to an x-rated film star. But, you will totally be the envy of every girl on the dancefloor, so WORK IT.

  • Bralettes Are Cute, But Will Never Happen

They’ve been pretty big in fashion under tank tops and sweaters as a comfy alternative to a full-on-bra, and they just look so dainty and cute.. but they just will never happen. It’s like trying to fit a watermelon in a sock.

  • BRAS ARE SO EXPENSIVE 

Victorias Secret and Pink just cannot contain the madness under your top, usually. If you a D or DD, you can sometimes find some that sort-of work, but they just aren’t made for girls like us.
So we are left to getting ugly, specialty bras that can cost $100.

We NEED MORE OPTIONS!

7 Irritations Only Women With Tattoos Will Understand

There  is no better permanent self-expression than a well-done tattoo. Of course, they’re not for everyone; kind of like blue lipstick isn’t for everyone, but do we say anything to THOSE people.. no.. we look away. As women are becoming more and more liberated (or trying), tattoos are becoming even more acceptable in modern society (not that we care).

I am definitely far from “tatted up”, but I do have a few tattoos and it’s enough to have gathered some knowledge on what it’s like to be a 2015 woman with some super cool body art.


Here are the biggest irritations only women with tattoos will understand:

  • Being Told “You’re Gonna Regret That”

Chances are we’re not going to “regret that” and even if we do.. let us deal with that later on. We got these tattoos because we loved them and wanted them on us permanently; that’s a big commitment that we probably thought out.

  • Having Older People Gawk At You In Public

    **Bonus Irritation: They Talk Loud Enough for You to Hear Them Insult You

Nothing better then being in line to grab a coffee, looking over and seeing a few middle-aged people whispering to each other while obviously staring (and sometimes pointing) at your tattoos. Sometimes you even get the added bonus of them talking purposefully loud enough for you to hear that they HATE your tattoo and that they would NEVER do that. Sorry we can’t please you, Carol.

  • When Your Color Tattoos Clash With Your Outfit

Not a huge deal, but can lead to a little bit of irritation. Your yellow little bird on your arm may turn you into a walking McDonald’s advertisement with that new red dress, but worse things have happened.

  • Having To Cover Up For Work

Most shops, restaurants and companies aren’t about you showing off your ink at work. It’s getting better, but most of the time we are forced to cover. This is especially bad if you have a tattoo in the middle of your arm or leg (long sleeves in the summer is always an awful idea). But, hey, Urban Outfitters is always hiring? Don’t worry gals, it’ll all be better soon.

  • When Everyone Asks To See It + What It Means

If you have never been asked this, you probably don’t have a visible tattoo.. in which case you are kind of lucky. Yes you can see it. No it didn’t hurt that bad. That’s cool you wanna get one too.

Assuming it means something is kind of annoying for the people who just wanted some nice art. A lot of the time, people do have an explanation, but it also doesn’t mean they want to tell you about it: It could be personal!

Thank you for the compliments, but we are sick of explaining.

  • People Reminding You That “Men Don’t Like Women With Tattoos”

*Flips Hair*

Is there any water in that pool? I can’t even tell cause its so SHALLOW!!!!!

But, really, if you’re that big of a tool…. keep on walking.

People Assume That You Must Be A Lesbian, Do Drugs and Not Go To School.

If you are a lesbian who does drugs and happens to not go to school, DO YOU, BOO. But, often people think that if you have a tattoo at least one of these must be true. I’m sorry that my portrait of my dead cat leads you to these assumptions!

“I’m not a stick anymore, but I’m doing okay”

“Hey I didn’t know a whale was coming to the pool tonight,” said a little boy to me as I passed a group when I was 10 years old at our local swimming pool– the first person to ever make me feel self conscious.

To sum up some history before we begin…..A few years ago, I took a trip with my close friends Sam, Michele and Zack. We went on a lovely tropical vacation to Punta Cana and it will forever be one of the best memories I will have. I was fresh out of high school and excited for the future. But, one thing was still holding me back and causing me serious torment: the voice in my head telling me my body was wrong. I went on my trip, had a great time and came back home to look through the tons of pictures we took. There was only one thing I could focus on..my weight. I could barely stand to see myself in these pictures. I have always been a junk food queen because of my pickiness in foods that I actually like but I hadn’t realized how far I had let myself go. To others I was ‘normal’ weight but I couldn’t just be ‘normal’. I didn’t feel comfortable. So I started dieting and exercising. From October 2012 – June 2013 I lost a total of 36 pounds. To be quick.. I went to school in the city, stopped working out, drank a lot and ultimately stopped caring about my “fitness”.

My self-esteem quickly plummeted. I no longer felt confident in clothes, my skin wasn’t shining like it used to, but ultimately I felt okay. I was back in control of my life and there was no constant voice telling me to count calories and exercise.

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My first week at college

Fast forward to today, leaving those habits over two years in the past, and I’m doing okay. I still exercise now and then (not everyday) but not to the point of overexertion. I try to eat healthy but I’m human and also I have a chocolate addiction so I’ve gained a little weight. My arms aren’t the rock hard muscle machines that I made them anymore and my stomach has gained a little pudge leaving behind the toned tummy I once had. I can’t lie and say sometimes I don’t get discouraged and even upset about myself but I’ve learned to know my body and I know this will help me become who I want to be.

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Today (i’ve gained 10 pounds)

I’m not fat, nor do I think I’m fat. I’m a healthy weight. I still get called “tiny” and “small” and guess what? I don’t go to bed starving anymore.

To those who sometimes don’t feel comfortable in their skin.. this is my advice to you:

1. You Can Be Beautiful and Confident At Any Size

I know.. hard to believe this when media is shoving skinny and toned down your throat (and if you ARE skinny and toned good for you, girl!! that’s awesome) but..there are other body types aside from slim and tiny. I am a firm believer in shining from the inside out. If you get yourself in a good place mentally anything is possible physically.

2. Do NOT crash diet.. PLEASE. 

If you want to lose weight the healthy way, put yourself on a natural, whole food diet change. Replace the processed foods America loves for things from nature, or close to nature. I’m talking fruits, vegetables, whole grains, seeds, nuts, legumes, and low fat dairy. If you stick with these foods and don’t overeat.. I can 100% guarantee you will see a difference in your reflection within a few weeks. ALL THOSE OTHER DIETS OFTEN END IN BINGE EATING AND GIVING UP.

3. Do Not Go To Tumblr and Instagram For Your ‘Thinspiration’

Especially under that hashtag. Most of those girls (and boys) are suffering from real, severe eating disorders and should not be administering diet advice. There is no reason you should eat a total of 200 calories a day (half of which are crackers and diet coke). The pictures you see are seriously ill people and should not be idolized.

4. Understand Your Body Type

Each body is constructed differently. Some girls can NEVER have a thigh gap, sticking out collar bones or that new asian thing where you wrap your arm all the way around your back to your waist to see if your skinny or not (if you don’t know what I’m talking about feel free to look it up). I’m sure there are other wacky ideas for what makes you ‘thin’ out there: Ignore them please and find your own ‘what makes me feel good’

5. Being Curvy is ‘Acceptable’

As sad as it is that we have to wait for something with our image to be ‘acceptable’ in modern society, guess what girls? Boobs, butt and thighs are in.. and bigger than ever (literally). Nicki, Beyonce, Kim and more have been flaunting their good goods and giving us the green light on saying yes to that bowl of pasta and maybe even a doughnut without tons of regret.

So no matter how you look, no matter what you’ve been through (or maybe if you’re going through something now), no matter what anyone has said to you..

  • Realize YOUR beautiful
  • Know your limits
  • Keep yourself healthy

MET Gala Fashion 2015 – The Good and The WHAT

The time has come again for fashions finest to showcase their work on celebrities at the Met Gala 2015. The event, which was held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, took place May 4th with an interesting theme: China: Through the Looking Glass.

Celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, Reese Witherspoon, and more took to their Twitter and Instagram accounts early Monday morning to announce their excitement for the evening.

Alexa Chung, Emma Roberts, and Ellie Goulding showed off their hair and makeup via their personal Instagram accounts on the way to the Gala. Ellie captioned her photo “On my way to a low key event”. Well, girl, you’ve got us Starry Eyed.

If there is one time of year to make a big fashion statement and get some recognition.. THIS IS IT.

Who can forget VERY PREGNANT Kim’s floral print dress that stole the red carpet and kept people talking for weeks (not necessarily in a good way)?

Kim wasn’t the only one from the Kardashian clan to show up to the event. Kris and Kendall were both present.

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Kendall looked like a green goddess in her Calvin Klein gown.

With huge names and huge fashion at this event, It was hard to choose the best of the night, but I narrowed it down to three BEAUTIFUL ladies:

First, Lady Gaga came and stunned us with her Alexander Wang gown. She not only looked awesome as usual, but she COMPLETELY worked the theme. Looking like a geisha queen, she shut down the red carpet.

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Gaga taking us to China town with this fabulous look.

And who could even pretend to ignore the Queen B? She came in and caused a buzz with her Givenchy dazzling, sparkling gown. It covered just enough for us to truly appreciate that unearthly body that Beyoncé owns. I was expecting something great from her, and she exceeded my expectations!

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I mean…. Just look at her stance. Completely gorgeous look. Beyoncé: 1,000 points. Everyone Else… 0.

The last look that earned a spot in this top 3 is the lovely Jessica Chastain. She was a golden goddess shining like a star in the sky. Although she didn’t quite work the theme into her look, she has classic Hollywood style DOWN. She is a true beauty and it shows in her Givenchy gown.

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Red-haired beauty Jessica Chastain dazzles in this golden gown

Now for the not-so-good:

Cara Delevigne normally works red carpet events, but last night she certainly did not stand out as a best dressed nominee. She came in a simple, black ensemble by Stella McCartney. She was covered in painted on tattoos of asian-inspired flowers to incorporate the theme, but it did not make up for the outfit, girl.

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Is that a can of Green Tea Arizona? Oh, wait no.. It’s Cara Delevigne.

The next to make the list is the one, the only Sarah Jessica Parker. She can normally own the fashion scene, I mean she was on Sex and The City, come on. But, last night, although she totally worked in the theme (she basically became the theme) it was a bit of a nightmare. She looked a bit horrifying.

"China: Through The Looking Glass" Costume Institute Benefit Gala

Just too much going on, SJP.

Overall, it seems the Gala was a success with memorable looks to last us until next year. What can they surprise us with next?

Whimsical Wednesday: Why I Love Not Wearing Makeup (some days)

  It’s no secret that society makes being female quite difficult. There’s the ridicule for our weight, our face (which we ultimately can’t control without surgery), and our behavior. Who is to say how I should act and look? 

I’m my biggest critic, probably like most of you reading this are, and there have been some deep dark parts of my life where I have been completely down about my appearance.

 Growing up, I loved reading fashion and celebrity magazines. I was so dazzled by the beauty I was seeing and couldn’t believe people could look LIKE THAT. I have no problem with the magazine industry, but I can say it played a role in the negative feelings I had about myself. 

For years after this, all the way up until after high school, I struggled. I would pile on makeup in hopes of finally passing as beautiful. My smile definitely hid how I was feeling. I struggled with dieting, restricting myself from almost every food, and over exerting myself in exercise.  My weight drastically fell; I can now look back and admit I wasn’t healthy, mentally or physically. 

Those days are behind me now. I’m in the best place I have ever been.

This leads me into WHY I LOVE NOT WEARING MAKEUP, what you’ve all been waiting for..and why you came. I’m talking about makeup both in the actual stuff you put on your face, and also every other aspect of your appearance. 

Three days a week, on average, I leave the makeup off. There is something so empowering and beautiful about feeling comfortable enough in your skin to show yourself in the purest state. I suggest trying it, and I know this is not an easy task for everyone, at least once. 

I think it’s important to know that I love makeup. I have the Sephora receipts and wedge out of my checking account to prove it. Makeup is awesome. I use it all the time and CANT SURVIVE WITHOUT MY RUBY WOO LIPSTICK BY MAC.

With these trials of being makeup free, I have found myself smiling when I look in the mirror. I will take a selfie bare-faced..and OOOH can you believe it–I’ll post it! 

It may be attributed to growing up, to stop caring what people think, to have a revelation of self clarity, or being too broke to afford it anymore (IM IN COLLEGE, I UNDERSTAND), BUT try to rock your femininity no matter how you look on the outside. Realize your beauty and self-worth and you will shine on the inside and out.

Who run the world?

GIRLS