BIG BOOB PROBLEMS

D-Cup and up, what’s up?

If you are a member of the heavy-chested gang, you have probably dealt with several irritating incidents that have made you want to saw them off with a butter knife (or is that just me?). This isn’t to say that I don’t love my body, because I do, and sometimes I feel very blessed to have the assets that I do.. but there are times that I just CAN’T STAND THEM.

If you’ve ever been puzzled why women would ever want gigantic boobs, then read on and relate to these issues only girls with big boobs have:


  • Finding a bikini top is so….hard…

There are tons of things that can go wrong while trying to find a bikini top. You grab an XL cause it’s the only size that can fit your boobs, but then its WAY too big for your waist. You finally find a size that fits you.. AND ITS HIDEOUS. There are not a lot of options for gals with big boobs in the swimwear world.

This year I found mine on ASOS. They have a whole section for “DD+ Swimwear” which is a total lifesaver.

  • Clothes Don’t Fit Over Your Boobs

Finding adorable clothes that you think you can fit in, then you go in the dressing room and want to cry.. yeah we’ve all been there. Just stick to oversized and stretchy materials and you should have a shot. But, you can completely scratch button-up shirts off your shopping list, cause those will never happen.

  • Having a Serious Love/Hate Relationship with Them

Some days you wake up and feel like a super-fab chick and are ready to go out and work your body, and other days you want to wear a huge, oversized sweater and a scarf and hope no one can see the monsters under your shirt. It happens.

And don’t pretend like you’ve never researched breast reduction surgery!

  • Working Out Can Be Rough

Just one sports bra is not enough, we need two of them! Low-cut, adorable fitness outfits are a no, we will be there in an oversized t-shirt hoping that while we’re on the elliptical, no is noticing the BOUNCE.

  • Bending Over in a Low-Cut Top

Self-Explanatory.. and annoying.

  • All Weight Gain Seems to go to Them

How does this new bra I just got barely fit anymore? Oh, right, I ate too much last night. For some reason, fat seems to find its way into your boobs even though we all know we don’t need it.

  • Body-Con Dress = Instant Porn Star

Deciding on a body-con dress can be awesome for a night out on the town for any normal woman.. but, when you are dealing with more in the chest area.. you can instantly turn in to an x-rated film star. But, you will totally be the envy of every girl on the dancefloor, so WORK IT.

  • Bralettes Are Cute, But Will Never Happen

They’ve been pretty big in fashion under tank tops and sweaters as a comfy alternative to a full-on-bra, and they just look so dainty and cute.. but they just will never happen. It’s like trying to fit a watermelon in a sock.

  • BRAS ARE SO EXPENSIVE 

Victorias Secret and Pink just cannot contain the madness under your top, usually. If you a D or DD, you can sometimes find some that sort-of work, but they just aren’t made for girls like us.
So we are left to getting ugly, specialty bras that can cost $100.

We NEED MORE OPTIONS!

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Do I Attract Creeps (and other concerns from being in the city)?

Just a typical Monday and I survived my long morning commute to Chicago via train. The music in my earphones drowned out the chatter of people arguing with the conductors about why they don’t have a ticket (this happens every time).

I grabbed a black coffee to wake me up from the corner bakery outside Union Station as I waited for my Uber. My first uber cancelled on me (I couldn’t believe it) and I was eventually picked up by Jayc, my very kind driver. He was concerned about my drop off point saying “we gon’ get jumped over there”.

I finished my slow, dragging class and went into my usual panera to sit, not eat, and use their Wifi: The joys of being a part of the technological generation. I was approached at my quiet little table by a boy who asked to sit with me. I passively agreed and looked back at my tablet… But then, of course, he wanted to talk.

I guess I can’t accept friendliness as friendliness in a world where a guy talking to a girl often ends in them asking for your number. He wanted to know everything about my college experience. I just wanted to bask in my loneliness.  Does this make me a cold-hearted wench? I’m not sure.

Additionally, during my panera trip, a homeless man quietly ventured through the restaurant asking for money and food. I have neither so I did the traditional bitchy Chicago thing and ignored him.

During my last year, when I used to actually live downtown, I was involved in some sketchy situations. I was an innocent bystander in a 7/11 hold up. I had a presumably mentally ill man whisper in my ear “y’all gon die” referring to my friend and I; not the most comforting message at 3 am on the CTA. I had a “rapper” come up to my roommate Taylor and I offering us some Patron. I had an insane boy try to kill me because I didn’t want to date him (after one day of meeting him).

Each day downtown provides you with some incredibly interesting stories. There is always something happening and there’s nothing better than fearing for your life sometimes, right?